Always (drabble)

[liamar]

This is the first fic i have ever written (apart from in my head). i dont know anything about posting fic on livejournal so if anyone would like to tell me anything i would greatly appreciate it. other than that could you guys tell me what you think. this is just something i thought of after seeing 'Scarecrow' for the first time (yes i know i am way behind but spn has just started in NZ). hope you like it. 

Sometimes Dean really hated himself, how weak he was, how willing to take whatever scraps of attention, love he could get.

 

 From his brother. From his father.

 

 Fuck Sammy had pulled the trigger, hated him that much. And then left him, just walked away.

 

But when Dean saw him in that orchard all was forgiven. All Sam saw was smiles and light, the mask that was Dean Winchester, perfect son, perfect brother, perfect soldier.

 

But inside Dean knew now, really knew like he hadn’t allowed himself to contemplate before. He wasn’t perfect, he wasn’t needed, he didn’t really matter. And eventually they would all leave him.

 

Everybody always does.